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The Dark Side Isn't So Bad

2009-05-12T03:53:00.000-07:00

Well, Kara and I are officially part of our generation. We finally took the risk of becoming smartphone owners. Alltel was having a Mothers Day deal where alot of their phones were b.o.g.o., which just so happened to be the exact day we became eligible for an upgrade, so we decided it was the right time.
But, it was still a hard decision due to the amount of pros and cons that came with it: we'd get unlimited texts, but it'd be significantly more money each month; we could go with Sprint to escape the price increase, but we'd lose the My Circle feature that gives us free calling to 10 numbers of our choosing; our nights and weekends minutes would kick in at 7pm instead of 9, but we'd have to sign a new 2-year contract with a company that is inevitably going to be swallowed up by Verizon - who, by the way, has notoriously high prices; and, smartphones give us unlimited internet access, but did we really need that?
You already know the decision we made. After two full days of research, we passed on the Moto Q9c (Windows Mobile crashes it), the Palm Treo Pro (the range is less, and it wasn't b.o.g.o.), and the Blackberry Pearl (that keyboard is a nightmare), and each picked up the Blackberry Curve.
Now, as much as I hate learning new things, this one is actually fun. I've joined the Nit-Twitter Nation, started using the built in calendar to schedule estimate and meetings for my business and for church, and I'll soon be snapping pictures of everyone I possibly can in order to put a picture on the number that shows up when they call. My email gets pushed as soon as it hits my gmail account, texting is tons easier with a full qwerty board, and I still haven't even started downloading ringtones yet!
Oh well, at least I didn't become another iClone. But now that I really think about it, I don't know that it'd be so bad. Too bad they're attached at the hip with AT&T... for now.

The Incredible Shrinking Backyard

2009-05-05T04:14:00.000-07:00

So, the building is structurally finished. I still have to caulk most of the seams and put up the trim pieces that will cover up the caulking. Then, the fun task of building shelves, hanging peg board, wiring (and possibly plumbing), and moving stuff out of our Incredible Shrinking Guest Room and Office begins. After all that of the stuff is in, we'll sand down the doors a little and decide on a paint color. Then ALL my friends can come over and paint this thing! Er, I mean "help me paint," of course.

Oh, and yesterday, I "installed" the new iGarden app right next to the storage building. Right now, the only updates I've downloaded are two tomato plants. Soon, there'll (yes, it's a word) be extremely-late radishes, carrots, and onions towards the back. Maybe a pepper or three to keep the tomatoes company on their end of the garden. Whatever Kara wants, really. And it's organic!

256 Square Feet of Completion

2009-05-02T11:44:00.000-07:00

Yep. The storage building is done. In under a week (and in reality, in three days' time). Maybe soon I'll get to feeling like posting the "after" pics.

CAUTION: Me Working

2009-04-26T15:05:00.000-07:00

Despite our best efforts, my dad and I were unable to complete the whole building in 12 hours' time. But we ROCKED IT anyway. Before we ever started, I set our camera up on a tripod so that it directly faced the front of the building. Here's the result of that... and of me learning to export slideshows on a Mac for the past hour.

A Shed to Hold All of My Money...

2009-04-21T05:23:00.000-07:00

That's what that itty bitty building behind my house is quickly turning into. Did you know, for example, that 4'x8' Hardie Board (it's a siding with a density comparable to concrete) is $24.87/ sheet? I need 20 of those. I'll do the math for you: $497. And 40 cents. That's just the siding!
Priced through Guy C. Lee Building Supply, my total - excluding the roof, since I still haven't decided if I want metal or shingles - is $1,202. 79. Priced through Lowe's, I'll save about $125, which still puts me at around $1075.
So, what's not included in that price? I'll answer that question, because I know my wife is going to ask it. That doesn't include the door hardware, the door locks, the gable vent, nails, screws, joist hangers, or hurricane clips. That's probably another $300 or so. Luckily, though, my dad has all of that already. Also not included in that price is, as already stated, the roof. The price between shingles and metal is nominal (unbelievable, huh?), which is why the decision is so hard to make. I'm gradually leaning more and more towards metal since we live in a hurricane playground. I've also got to get this thing wired, eventually, but that's not a top priority: get it built, then get it wired.

House Works

2009-04-19T13:19:00.000-07:00

We went to Lowe's to scope out the plants, specifically the veggies that are about 6-9 inches high and fruitless. Um, veggie-less? Regardless, they're little green sprigs with no immediately discernible use at the moment. For those of you who are planning on going to Lowe's for gardening, one word: don't.
Sure, we picked up two tomato plants, but if you're looking for anything other than tomatoes, watermelons, or a few assorted pepper plants, I'd suggest you look elsewhere. I'm recommending the herb garden place just outside of Leland on Hwy 17.
We also just happened upon a happy little impulse buy whilst looking for an exact odd request from my dad - which, by the way, we didn't find. We did, however, walk out with a new kitchen faucet and water filter; the filter regular price, the fixture ~55% off. I'll give you three guesses where I've been for the past two hours. Here's a hint: my old sink fixture was welded into place by six years of corrosion and funky gunk.
Now, I'm taking a minute to blog for the second time in one day before I start straightening up this sty we call a living room in time for Small Group. Question: how do two grown adults clean up a room every week, vow to not let it get that way in the next seven days, and still have to clean it up the next week? As Kara asks, "What is it with us? We can't seem to keep anything nice."
Hopefully that will all change next week. We'll have dirt and sawdust from our yard projects on our feet, about eight or ten people traipsing about, in and out of the house, and possibly, a kitten to liven things up. Yeah. We'll be cleaning right up until Small Group once again, I'm sure.

Growin': What's Up with Me Lately

2009-04-19T04:28:00.000-07:00

I haven't bloggerized in a while. I don't know why, really - it's not like I didn't have anything to write about. Remember that whole " 'Grow' is my one-word" post? It's really taken off.

For starters, after I lost my job, I was able to go back to work with my dad. This has allowed alot of opportunities to be closer with my parents, seeing them weekly instead of monthly. On my personal side of things, starting a business on my own in this economy is rough, but I have a couple of things lined up for this week. Now scheduling tings becomes an issue, but it's a ton-times better than wondering if I'll have work tomorrow, or the next day, or the next. It's also a blessing, because when I do have free days, especially on a Thursday or Friday, I'm allowed the opportunity to go to the church and play around on the lightboard. "Play around" is what it feels like to me, but I'm actually trying to get into programming it for Sunday mornings. Learning to program just means that I have to put alot more hours into running it. But I'll get it one day. Paschal and Josh are awesome teachers. Now if only work would allow me to be there every Thursday and Friday, I'd get there alot quicker.

Speaking of my company, Jesse Bond (against my best efforts to slow him down, what with the lack of content and pictures that I've lazily neglected to collect) has "finished" my still-growing-and-ever-evolving webpage, www.artisanelectric.info. Since it's ever-evolving, and since I don't consider myself to be a credible witness for my own website, I'd like everyone who could to help me add stuff to it. In other words, if you don't mind being quoted on my website, I'd like to add some of your words to Jesse's. Comment here to add them, or email me at calltheartisan@gmail.com.

So, since I *technically* had a business last year, this year's taxes reflected a loss. Which, by the way, was another blessing from God, because now the tax check coming back to us - at least according to TurboTax - will finance a 12' x 16' builing in my backyard. Its construction will allow me to finally clean out my guest bedroom and office closets, as well as allow me get our Christmas stuff out of the attic and down to the ground level where it's more easily accessible. We're supposed to start that next Friday. At the same time, Mom and Kara will be busily scouring Lowe's for plants to set out in our as-of-yet uncompleted garden. On top of that, I'm scheduled to volunteer all day Sunday from 6:30 - 2:00. I guess this about sums it up: if you're reading this, then don't expect me to be able to hang out with you next weekend. Also, if you're reading this, and you owe me one, expect me to call and collect that favor next weekend!

Exciting Things, with Me!

2009-03-07T07:27:00.001-08:00

Been a while, yeah? So, update: I got laid off yesterday. Very excited about that.

No. Really. I've been praying for God to lead me to new people, to "expand my territory" as my SG members have often head me say (quoting the Prayer of Jabez), and it looks like He's moving me on to my next step. What's that next step? Who knows! But it's exciting either way. No matter what comes up or where God puts me, I know He's in charge, and I'm genuinely excited about what will come next.

That does NOT mean that I'm not anxious. I am. Really. I don't normally go into new situations calm and relaxed. I'm usually worked up and nervous. But that's a result of fear, and "fear is the mind-killer"... or so said Frank Herbert in Dune.

I have a few ideas of what God's next step is for me. Well, options, really, but that's not the right word for it. They're the options I see, but not necessarily all the ones I have. God doesn't have t show me all the things He has in store for me. Some of those things aren't optional. So, I can either start my own business (really start it), find a new job with another electrical company, or find a job doing something else entirely. All of those are equally scary. All of those are equally over my head, and out of my hands. All of those are exciting.

I'm also very excited about next Friday, because I get to go to Catfish Lake. I get to go to that place in my banner, sit in God's creation, and do - nothing. That's an exaggeration, of course, because there's so much fun to be had there, but I plan to steal away for a few moments and just sit with God in order to listen. I'm also excited about the opportunity to bring along two couples who've never been to Catfish Lake! The Greens and the Klemos are in for a (scary/ wonderful/ awesome/ too-close-for-comfort-with-other-people-unless-you-love-them-and-if-you-don't-yet-then-you-soon-will) treat!

The end of the tangents: The best part about all of these changes and the trip next weekend? I mean, the absolute BEST part?! I don't have to face the challenges alone, and I don't have to share the good times alone! My awesome wife, Kara, is walking with me. My small group is walking with me. My parents and in-laws are walking with me. My friends are walking with me. And my God is walking with me. Those are things anyone could get excited about. My life is good. My life is God-given. My life is exciting.

Sleeping Outside

2009-02-12T03:46:00.000-08:00

Demetri Martin has a new show on Comedy Central called Important Things. Now, usually I don't watch Comedy Central because it doesn't (usually) mirror what's on NatGeo, Discovery, Travel, Vs., or Animal Planet. Not that Important Things has anything in common with those shows, either. Demetri just has a comedic style that 1) is remarkably similar to the late Mitch Hedberg, and 2) sounds alot like the kind of humor that daily spills from my mouth.
So, Kara and I were watching the show last night (because we didn't want to stay up Wednesday night to see it when it originally aired), and the whole show was about timing. And one little transitional "joke" stuck with me more than the rest. There's a picture of a tent, and a caption reading "camping." Then, the wind picks up, the tent blows away, and for a brief moment, the cartoon man who was inside the tent is no longer camping: now he's "sleeping outside." It's all about timing.
I tell you that to tell you this. Last night, Kara and I started counseling a couple through the church. And the things they're dealing with, we went through ourselves at one point or another. The lessons we learned were hard because we didn't have anyone to guide us through our struggles, but we got through them when we finally realized that we couldn't do anything until we included God.
If we had not learned those lessons then, we'd just be "sleeping outside" right now, feeling lost and overwhelmed instead of knowing that the future is bright for the couple we're counseling. I realize that God uses our trials as training for things he's planning for us, and it's just so awesome to see those situations beginning to blossom. It really makes me appreciate the lessons that sucked so hard to learn, because now I feel like I can say, "Do you even know how good this is going to be for you guys?! Yeah, it's going to be hard, and it's gonna suck, and there' no immediate 'fix,' but if you just let God do what He wants to do for you - because He loves you enough to do everything - then your marriage is going to be unrecognizable from the one you have right now!"
Jeff Winchester said that "a deep relationship with God implies hidden, because something that's deep is usually hidden. But if you choose to live your life at the surface, then you have to learn to live by grace." You have to be raw and accessible. You have to get rid of the comfort zone. You have to be willing to show and relive your own mistakes so that you can walk alongside others. See, when you're camping, you usually bring a tent, something that will protect you from the elements. But when you sleep outside, you're out there for everyone to see, completely exposed to the elements. That's how I'd like my walk with God to be - exposed, raw, and visible, the good and the bad. I have to be willing to let people see the imperfections, because sometimes the broken pieces inside are the very things that God can use to "fix" others. I know that sounds campy, but I prefer to call it sleeping outside.

Eh.

2009-02-02T16:21:00.000-08:00

I'm. Bored.

And I have plenty to do. For instance, I should be writing in this blog, coming up with some insightful and brilliant commentary on the human experience, while at the same time throwing in pop culture references and hysterical one-liners. I should also be workshopping my own ideas (that sounds pitifully arrogant and pointless, I know) concerning the written content of my soon-to-be business website. Yes. It really is going to happen one day.
I have books! One is halfway done. C.S. Lewis' part deux of the space trilogy. I just don't feel like reading the stylized account of how allegorical Satan literally used logic to convince the allegorical Eve that it was her duty to experience sin in order to spare allegorical Adam the trouble. Then, of course, logically she has to teach him just what sin is.
I also have the second book in the King Raven series. I have boks on Christian counseling that beg for my attention because I'll soon be partially responsible for someone else's walk and relationship. I just don't feel like reading right now. I mean, I have Les Stroud's newest book, and I've barely gotten past chapter 2!
I have videogames that haven't been conquered. There are secrets in Little Big Planet that I've yet to unlock, and places in Fallout that I've yet to trod with my virtual feet. Even if my TV was in front of me (it's not even back in my house yet, because we needed it for the Super Bowl party last night, and I haven't gone to get it yet), I doubt I'd want to play anything.
I've unloaded the dishwasher. I've loaded it back up again. I've turned the light on for Kara so that when she gets home, she might feel a tiny bit more welcomed than she would if the little stoop out front were still covered in sunless shade.

So, I'm here. Typing away and getting a little kick out of the rythm of the keys on the rare occasion that I think far ahead enough to get a complete sentence together and don't make more than ten typos as my fingers struggle to strike the correct keys. Oh, by the way, I decided on MyOneWord for this year: it's "grow." I should really write it down in seven or eight conspicuous places so that I can focus myself and invite God to use that word to reach me. At least that's my prayer. It worked last year with "husband" and "lead," though I admit that I could have worked alot harder at it. That's why I feel like I should really write it in blatantly obvious spaces. It'll be a start. Odd, starting the new year in February.

Another One Bites the Ducks

2009-01-24T06:41:00.001-08:00

Well, another season, another lackluster result: Stew and I didn't fire a single shot this morning, though we both had (very) small groups land within 15 feet of us. This wraps up a season of shotless Saturdays that started off so well for me. On the very first day of the season, I shot 4 times and came away with my limit of three wood ducks - two drakes and a hen. Then, for some reason, the ducks just stopped showing up.

But we didn't. I think I've converted Stewart. We're leaving my parent's house in a couple of hours to head down to Bass Pro Shops. He needs a pair of waders so that he can stop borrowing dad's. Maybe he'll even find some 16 ga. steel shot. But I'm not getting my hopes up.

Oh, also, the third SG Catfish Lake trip is coming up on the second weekend of March. All y'all who are going, get yer' gear ready!

My One Word: Week Three

2009-01-18T11:25:00.000-08:00

Today's blog is brought to you by the letter "P," and the number "3!"

Today's word is "present." And not the kind you get for Christmas or your birthday. I'm talking about the time: right now. "Now" was almost my word for this week, but even I don't know what I'd do with it. I came upon this word when I was sitting on the couch yesterday, feeling puny because of a relentless sinus headache that ravaged me from 9 am till 10:30 pm. And as I was sitting there, I kept thinking about all of the things around the house that I'd let pile up and that I could have taken care of yesterday. Stuff like laundry, and dishes, and even the Christmas lights still hanging up on the tree in our front yard. Yes. Still.
BAM! And it hit me: if I'd taken care of those things when they had arisen, my headache would still be around, but the feeling of a wasted day would be lessened. I knew then and there that I had been living in that time between times where you go, "I'll do that little bit tomorrow," and then tomorrow you add to the problems instead of resolving them, even though you're adding only a little bit at a time. That's still the wrong answer.
I have to live more in the present! If I take care of today's tasks and issues today, then tomorrow I don't have to worry about today's and tomorrow's to-do's. Then, on the weekends, I can sleep in, kill a headache, and not feel worse because I also killed a perfectly good day that could have been spent productively.
2 Tim 2:15 says this: "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth." There's that word again: "present." If I utilize my time wisely, doing things as they come up and not pushing them aside until the next opportunity rolls around, then I'd feel like a pretty unashamed workman. But this verse takes it further. I also have to handle the "word of truth" correctly. So, not only am I responsible to work hard today, I also have the responsibility of keeping my walk with God up-to-date. And now, since Kara and I are about to step boldy into that weird, wide world of Christian counseling, I've got to be even more prepared so that others can see God in me and through me. That's my responsibility as a Christian. And it's something that has to be attended to right now, in the present.

My One Word: Week Two (and a half)

2009-01-14T03:16:00.000-08:00

One word a week is tough! "Grow" was so good that it's been hard to really decide if I wanted to pursue the few other words I've been thinking about. Yet, if I say I'm going to have four to choose from, I'd better follow through.

Week two's word is "intent," which of course tends to make one think of "intentional," and that's okay. But I'm leaning more towards the motivation-end of the connotations. If I can focus more on my motives, then I think that I'll automatically become a little more intentional with my actions and thoughts. I almost chose to pursue the word "think," as in "Think your thoughts," the challenge Mike Æ-craft talked about over a year ago.

"Intent" will cause me to focus on a specific effect of "grow" - my relationship with others. If I can identify my motives, I think I'll be able to approach people more honestly and purposefully. An example would be when dealing with a friend whose salvation I'm not sure of. I can worry and fret over the ill-desired response they may have if my intent lies in trying to "save them," which is impossible, because we can't save anyone; or, if my intent is to talk with them solely as a means for God to use me as a conduit for Him, then I've alleviated all pressure to "perform" in order to get a desired result. I guess, now that I think about it, that in this example, it's somewhat of a trust issue. That's another thing I intend to work on this year.

My One Word: Week One

2009-01-05T03:22:00.000-08:00

For the past two years, Port City Community Church (PC3) has been experimenting with a simplified approach concerning New Year's resolutions. The idea is to pick one, and only one, word to define a single trait or concept that we'd like to adopt or create within ourselves in the coming year. We pick our one word individually, but we also pick a word for our Small Group, and another for the entire congregation. The website myoneword.org explains it all better than I did here.
My word for this past year was actually two, so in effect, I cheated a little. My first word was "lead," as in "leader." This year, I've been praying for God to transform me into a person who didn't shun responsibility, into someone who didn't fear the idea of being accountable for the well-being of others. My second word was "husband," and in my mind, it was the more important of the two: I wanted to be a better leader of my family, and to love my wife the way she needs and deserves to be loved. Now, I can't say with certainty how successful I've been in carrying out the purposes of those two words: first of all, I'll forever be working on those goals, and second, the people around me are the best judges of my progress, so only they can honestly say if this year has been a success or not.
This year, because I feel like I was moderately successful, I've decided to take it a step further. For each week of January, I'm going to define my purposes and thoughts behind a new word. At the end of the month, I'll pick My One Word for 2009.

This week's word is "grow." This word just hit me this week, and while very simple, it covers a very wide range of things that I'd like to accomplish this year:
(1) Quite literally, I'd like to Grow a garden this year. Nothing big or fancy, just something that mirrors the power and wonder of God providing for us with things we ultimately have no control over. Plus, it requires me to be responsible for something other than myself, so in a very loose way, it's a continuation of "Lead."
(2) I'd like to Grow as a follower of Christ. I mean, if I wasn't dissatisfied with my walk with God, then I would not be looking at myself honestly. That leads me to...
(3) I'd like to Grow closer to every member of my Small Group. We're all pretty close already - we talk about everything. But I'd like to accept that proverbial "yoke of leadership" that in a small (or maybe even large) way makes me a little responsible for their spiritual growth. Remember, this whole leadership thing is new to me, so I'm still learning. I need to Grow, and the only way to do that sometimes is through experience.
(4) I'd like to Grow my Small Group. This is a painful one, but it's true. We're supposed to "multiply" in order to make room for new members, but it's so hard to have fledgling leaders leave the nest, so to speak. It ultimately and ideally means that they leave the group to start their own. It's hard to say goodbye, even though I know I'll see them more than I think I will. Yet, that's our purpose, after all - to Grow and create new Small Groups for the people we will love and walk with, yet don't yet even know. Growth is usually painful.
(5) I'd like my family to Grow. This one scares me most of all, because it hinges on the one thing that I feel I have absolutely no control over: money. Therefore, it's the one thing that God has all control over. Further still, it's the one step of faith that hardest for me to make. No one wants to take a financial leap of faith.
(6) I'd like to Grow my business. This is yet another responsibility that scares me because of the financial repercussions. This past year was a nightmare, economically speaking, but if I don't trust God over the financial geniuses of Wall Street, then where is my faith?

That's the gist of it. "I'd like to" is synonymous with "I fear having to" in all cases above except #1, and can also be exchanged with "I really don't want to" because of laziness, fear, and a lack of faith. But that's why it has to change, and it's the purpose of My One Word. We pick a word that is specific, and not normally one that has so many implications as "grow." So next week, I'll work on creating a word that is more focused. Speaking of that, it's time I get focused on getting ready for work.

P.S.: Mike and Kirsten, Jesse and Erin, drive safely, and we're still praying for you.

Fourth Saturday

2009-01-02T17:59:00.000-08:00

I'm just checking in on the busiest week of the year. And by "busy," I mean "laid back." Yeah, it works in my head. Go with it.

So, last Saturday, was a Saturday. And the next day was Sunday, but since there was no PC3 that day, it felt like a second Saturday. Then New Years Day, in the middle of the week, felt like a third Saturday because Wednesday felt like a Friday. Now, tomorrow is the fourth Saturday, because even though it's been a full 7 days since the first Saturday happened, the small work week that we've had doesn't even feel like it should be called a week!

So, Kara, Stewart and I are on our way to Mom and Dad's house. Stew and I will be hunting ducks (if the lousy things feel like flying) and Kara will be hanging out with Mom. Or sleeping.

I'll let you know how we did. Until then, keep checking Paschal's blog to be updated with his brother's condition. And KEEP PRAYING! Don't stop until the worst is over and the best is here.

Christmas Passed

2008-12-26T07:53:00.001-08:00

So, in an attempt to remember where all the stuff came from, I'm going to try to remember everything new that has to have a place in my already-full house this year. Needless to say, this year I was VERY blessed by my families, both here in NC and in IN. Thank you one and all for the gifts, and for the numerous - and quite possibly innumerable - hours that I will spend enjoying them!

*Steven R. Lawhead's Scarlet
*Les Stroud's Survive
*C.S. Lewis' space trilogy
*Little Big Planet for PS3
*PSP 3000 with Ratchet & Clank, National Treasure 2, and echochrome
*Playstation Network giftcard
*Lowe's giftcard
*LEGO 7094 King's Castle Siege
*2 sets of thermals for duck hunting
*Replica ancient Chinese sword
*BluRay The Dark Knight
*BluRay Prince Caspian
*BluRay Planet Earth series
*JBL portable iPod docking station
*Disciple's newest CD, Southern Hospitality
*a decorative bowl that is currently full of discounted holiday candy
*a DeWalt accessory kit

On a side note, this past week should be the longest lapse in postings from me, mostly because I know I should write more, but also because I know how it feels to try to keep up with a blog and have the author forget to write in it. I should probably have something else up by the end of the week.

P.S.: Thanks, Paschal, for the heads-up on the "My One Word" coming up. That'll give me time to pray about it and "decide" before Sunday.

Oh Holy WHAT?!?

2008-12-20T05:56:00.001-08:00

I just sent this out to my SG members, and I knew I had to send it out to the rest of the world. Apparently, this guy thought he was as good as a member of the Gaither Vocal Band. See if you agree.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_xSbiGWzuQ

Proof

2008-12-19T14:25:00.001-08:00

Just in time for all of you guys to visit family for the holidays, here's the SG pics I got last Sunday. It's proof that, yes, we are all in this together, and that we can indeed all get a night off once a year!
*Note: I think the camera was tilted a little: Pascal's tall, but he's not that much taller than Stewart and Elios.*

This way, you can not only explain to everyone back home why you're crazy, you can show them!

Timing

2008-12-19T07:57:00.000-08:00

"It'll all happen in God's time."

That's the saying we've all heard time and time again, and when it spontaneously barged into my mind today, I was forced to ask: What time isn't God's? Didn't He invent it, for crying out loud?! Which led me to my next question: If it's all God's timing, then why do we fail to recognize it as such? Why are we allowed to feel that we have some sort of control over when something will happen?
I'm not talking about the little things. I'm not talking about when dinner will be ready, or when the next episode of Mythbusters will be on. I'm talking about the biggies, like having kids, buying a house, or getting the perfect job after "investing" years of time and (our parents') money on school. The whole idea of our own timing being off has astounded me today, and my thoughts keep going back to it.
I guess this is coming about because I have a considerable lack of patience when it comes to getting the things I want, feel I deserve, or even feel I need. "God, I thought we talked about this! Remember, back in high school, I'd stay up late at night, drafting blueprints and floor plans for that big house I always knew I'd have by now? Or, remember the way I planned to be a radiologist, and how afterwards You, in your infinite grace, finally openned my eyes to the fact that I was meant to do something different? Why, again, can't I make the radiologist's salary doing what You've led me to do? What happened to the 30-acre estate next to the lake, with the dog in the yard, wearing a rambunctuos kid around its neck like an awkward collar while another looked on, shouting, 'I'm gonna tell Mom!'"

Then God looks down, smiles, and whomps me upside my inpatient head: "Hey, dummy! Look around you! You have an awesome life that you never planned, you just had to sit back and let it happen!"

Total Job moment.

"Hey, I'm not done!" God keeps going. "I'm going to continue to bless you whenever I feel like it, and, no, there's nothing you can do about it! Know why? 'Cause I'm God, that's why! And some of those blessings won't look like blessings at all, because I'm not done with them when you first see them. I don't have to tell you why, or show you how it'll work out in the end, because I'm God! That whole 'time' thing was my idea, and I'll use it however I danged well please! And, furthermore, when I'm done blessing you, I'm going to bring you home to be with me. And further still, I'm going to give you - give you - all those things you thought you wanted right stinkin' now, and you're going to realize that you never really wanted them in the first place! Then, I'll look down, smile, and whomp you upside your grateful head! I'd ask if that's ok with you, but I don't have to: I'm God."

So, in short, I've been thoroughly whomped. And God still knows best. And I'll eventually learn that lesson well enough that I'll stop repeating this process of "lament, learn, forget." I just hope I learn it before God looks down, smiles, and says...

"Time's up."

Never Too Late

2008-12-16T12:48:00.000-08:00

I love my wife!
So, as an expression of that sentiment, I decided to spend a few hours doing THIS:

We decided (a decision I still believe I pushed her to make with me) a few years back that a white tree would be an awesome addition to our home. After all, our wedding colors were blue and silver. Our favorite team - the Indianapolis Colts - are blue and white. Carolina is blue and white. So why not a tree?

She's been wanting the tree up for a while now, but with all the traveling, school work, regular work, and church, we've not had the time. So, while she was still at work, I sneaked home (which is really a way of saying that work was super slow today), climbed up into the attic, and emptied it of all our festive decór. The last few pics are the result of about four hours. And I even did the yard. I love you, babe!

"The Neverendng Story" is a Pipedream

2008-12-16T03:23:00.000-08:00

I hate finishing a book. Granted, there's a feeling of accomplishment that I get when it's over, and everyone loves knowing just what happens at the end: my mom, for instance, starts there. She reads the last chapter first, because if the book ends badly, she doesn't want to waste her time reading the rest of it.
I loathe the end of a book for one precise reason: I can never go back. You see, when I read a book - and, just so we're clear, I'm talking about fiction and travel memoirs, specifically - I go there. I'm living with the characters, I eat with the narrator, I battle alongside the hero(ine), and when that's over and the story comes to an end, I have to go back. Now, I love my life. I'm blessed in oh! so many ways. But when you've become a brother to Lewis Gillies in Albion, watched him grow from an unfit Oxford scholar into the fierce champion of a Celtic king, well, there's a sort of disappointment that accompanies the final page of that last chapter.
People say, "Oh, you know you can go back! All you have to do is continue the story in your own mind, and the characters can live again, in you!" Thanks for those wise words, LeVar Burton. Next time the magic cartoon rainbow comes gliding out of the ocean's horizon, I'll do just that. But on my side of the acid trip, you can't really go back. Know why?
Sequels. No matter what you imagined would happen in that far away land, the author, oddly enough, has his own view of things. Guess who's always right! No one was so adept at screwing up my head when it came to sequels as Anne Rice. That woman could throw a plot twist in that could kill the main character. Twice. And he'd still rise from the proverbial ashes to be in yet another storyline.
The only thing worse than finishing an awesome book is finishing an awesome series. Try going back to Narnia. You can't! It's over! C.S. Lewis finished off that entire world with The Last Battle! Anything you imagine happens there after the last chapter is read is utterly false, if you really think about it. If that example fails to convince, then try imagining Harry Potter's life at college, or how his kids will behave. Almost disheartening when you even try, isn't it?

Ok, breathe easy. The cynicism stops here. I love books. I'm even getting to the point where I enjoy reading them again. I'll probably start (and finish) countless other series before Jesus comes to get me. But, just once, I'd like for an author to start an interesting new concept, one where the last chapter is yanked from the press. Let us all be right when it comes to the conclusion of the stories we've created inside of our own minds. True, the story is yours alone, but when you share it with the rest of us, our own humanity and imagination graft it into our minds, and it becomes partly ours, as well. So, until Harry Potter can be revealed to have eaten Fawkes' ashes, or evidence arises to suggest that Rhi Bran y Hud found a potion of immortality, I'm going to keep reading. I have no choice. Those hidden worlds draw me in like a moth to a... moth trap. I hate clichés. We'll cover that whole mess later.

All I Want For Christmas...

2008-12-15T14:29:00.000-08:00

... is nothing.
Well, that's a vicious rumor. That I just made up. And plan to spread.
The truth is, there are limitless (well, perhaps that's too strong a word, but the point still carries) items and trinkets that I want, and getting them as gifts for Christmas would mean that I wouldn't have to pay for them. There just aren't many things that I need. Does anyone else feel like that?
I have the option of getting a PSP (Sony's handheld videogame system) complete with two games (Ratchet and Clank, and Echochrome) *Note: Why do I not have an option to underline in blogspot? Bold and italics, yes. Underline? DENIED!* as well as a movie (National Treasure 2). Or, my other choice is a nice, fresh pair of Oakleys. Both are desirable, but neither are exactly practical. See, I work in the construction industry. There's no room for $150 shades, or any videogames, for that matter. But, I can enjoy either one equally on the weekends.
But I don't need either one of those things. They're simply desirable. I already have plenty of things to occupy my time, like a PS3, DVDs, books a'plenty, etc. And, polarized glasses can be picked up at Wal*Mart for around 15 bucks.
So, therein lies my dilemma, and the underlying question behind this whole post: why do I feel the need to ask for things I don't need and can reasonably justify not having? Am I conforming to a social ideal that states that everyone must want something for Christmas? Or, am I simply allowing the congenital greed and modern commerciallism to attack me, finding some twisted pleasure in having to define my level of contentment?
Know what I really want for Christmas? The simplicity will drive you mad. I want to be with my family. Of coarse, by that I mean my wife, my sister, my parents, and their frail little dog. That's understandable. And that will indeed happen on Chirstmas Eve, and on through till probably Saturday.
But I also want to share Christmas with my other family: my SG. Yeah, yeah, yeah... sappy. Unpredictable, to some of you. But I don't care if it's sappy, cliche', or any of the other wonderfully appropriate words that could be used to describe it. I'm a social creature, despite any evidence from my mostly solitary adolescence.
So, if any of you are interested, email me, and I'll be more than happy to send you my list of things I don't really need. Feel free to buy any of the items listed, at your leisure, and I'll be grateful that I didn't have to ruin the budget this Christmas. And that alone will make for a very, very happy new year!

Names That Didn't Make the Cut

2008-12-14T18:42:00.000-08:00

I don't mind starting a blog. Really, I don't. The writing, the typing, none of that is especially difficult or hard to produce: I simply start typing and edit it later. Kinda like how I wish I could talk, speaking first and editing it if it comes out wrong.
No, what I dislike about the whole "process" of starting something new is the naming of the thing. Think about it: it's the first thing people will see, the first thing they'll form an opinion about, and the last thing they'll remember... unless it's a dumb title. Cliche' or grand, embellished or trite, all that stuff.
So, here's a list of things I tossed out. If you'll remember, I like words. Correction, I adore words. Especially tricks with them. So, on anagram.com (or whatever it's called. I google it every time I want to find it. I should really have it bookmarked), I entered all sorts of stuff trying to find an awesome anagram to be my title. Here's the list... that I threw out:

B and K Small Group = Bog Mallards Punk, Brusk Napalm Gold
*The first one actually fits the whole "I claim to be a duck hunter" theme I've been living.
I Love Kara = Okra Alive, A Live Okra
*Okra is a skinny, spiky vegetable that grows on a skinny, woody stem. Too much like me.
Victor Brandon Shaw = Thin Bravado Crowns, Crowd Both Nirvanas, Vibrant Candor Show,
Vibrant Nacho Sword, Nacho Vibrant Words, Vibrant Shadow Corn, A Vibrant Chord Sown
*These were just bad. Except "Vibrant Nacho Sword." That one is awesome. But not a title.
My Father's Son = A Forest's Hymn, Hefty Ransoms, Ear's Soft Hymn, Hymns of Tears
*These were all really good. Except the last two. Too sensual to be a title. Of my blog.
A Killer Wit = Wet Ilk Lair
*I don't... even know what that is. How'd that even get on my list?

So, anagrams are a wash. I almost named this thing "My Father's Son," but it's too ambiguous. Is it spiritual? Is it reverential? Is it sarcastic? Is my dad going to be mad? Am I reading too much into this? Is it really worth asking so many questions about it? Why am I still asking questions?
There. Welcome to my world. Currently, the title is "Write Now." Lovely little pun. Short and cliche'. I mean sweet. And cliche'. It's also a command to tell me to get off my butt and write something every few days or so. "Write NOW, me! Turn off the PS3, start the 10 minute start-up cycle on the desktop, and go create something worth writing! Or, at the very least, worth reading." Thank you for contributing to my madness.

First Things

2008-12-14T14:25:00.000-08:00

I'm sarcastic by nature. Or maybe it's by nurture. Either way, growing up the way I did (i.e. short, skinny, and with a big mouth), it came naturally, either as some sort of defense mechanism, or as a means to strike back at the sophomores in high school who always looked down on me. Yes, I'm aware that that last statement can be taken literally.
Regardless of how the sarcasm surfaced, the sense of humor closely followed. I was told later on in life (by my wife) that I get my sense of humor from my dad. I don't know if either of us will agree with that: he always thought I played around too much; I thought I was hilarious. One of us was probably wrong. Probably.
So. That covers sarcasm and humor. Why I love puns so much is anyone's guess. I think it comes from a love of words. And that stemmed from growing up in rural Bladen County, where the nearest people my own age were miles away. I read alot. I wrote alot. I loved words.
I went to school to be a doctor. I hated the constant imagination-free regurgitation of ideas and facts. Turns out that when you hate something, you eventually fail at it. Go figure.
So I "dropped out" of "pre-med school." The last set of quotes is because I have no idea if that's a correct term. I mean, isn't anything before med school pre-med? Including not going at all? Whatever. I digress. Back to more about me.
I fell back on what I knew best: words. I became an English major. English Lit, precisely. Graduated UNCW with honors. And a minor in Creative Writing (CRW to all you out there who didn't know that those three letters in the course catalog could get you a degree). Then I applied to grad school and was subsequently shut down.
I guess that's when I stopped writing. Maybe subconsciously I harbored some spite towards a skill that failed me. Maybe logically I cut it out of my life because it was unproductive and, therefore, unnecessary. The strange thing was, I cut out reading, too. Not that I'm illiterate now; far from it, actually. But the words stuck with me. The puns, the humor, the technicality of it all (I love syntax and grammar. Hate me for it, I don't care), all of that stuck with me, even if I involuntarily tried to shrug it off.
Years later, my friends started telling me to get back on the horse. Not explicitly, mind you, but with little nudges and hints (a few demands) that I should start blogging. And that's this. This is that. The beginning. Maybe I'll do better than most bloggers whose works I've been secretly sampling (they're not in my links list, if you're thinking of looking) and actually push out a post of substance at least once a week.
Oh yeah, also: I love my wife. More on that later.